Can’t our netas lighten up a bit?

Would it be mere wishful thinking to hope for an Indian prime minister who could look at himself through the prism of humour and take potshots at himself, as American President Barack Obama did at a recent dinner with White House correspondents? And come out with some witticisms such as: “In 2008, my slogan was ‘Yes we can’. In 2013, my slogan was Control+Alt+Delete”. Obama was referring to the technical glitches on the website healthcare.gov , formed for his signature healthcare overhaul. Surely, it must have pained him to make fun of his most favourite scheme, but he did it.

Cut back home. One can’t think of any of the prime ministerial aspirants, from clear favourite Narendra Modi to Rahul Gandhi, or the others in the shadows such as Mayawati, Mulayam Singh Yadav, Mamata Banerjee, J Jayalalithaa, et al , wearing their power lightly, let alone joke about it.

As for the present incumbent, poor soul, he lost his sense of humour, if any, long ago.

Modi, of course, takes himself far too seriously, and now that prospects of the PM’s gaddi have become brighter, he has ended his boycott of the media and is giving a spate of interviews.

Forget the PM-in-waiting, on TV, the interviewers themselves sit rather stiffly and ask even the slightest of uncomfortable questions with trepidation. Remember the famous Karan Thapar interview, which Modi ended in a few minutes with a glass of water, as the journalist tried to intimidate him with high-decibel questions on the 2002 riots?

A lesson has certainly been learnt from that experience. As for the man who is being interviewed, as he tears into the Nehru-Gandhi family, the UPA’s 10 years of misrule or corruption, and tells us for the umpteenth time about his Gujarat model of development, your mind wanders to his impeccable kurta-jacket combo, the kamal , which we now know is detachable as he got into trouble waving it on polling day in Gandhinagar, and the scarf/shawl he is wearing. But this can grab your attention for 30 seconds, not more.

But if you expect humour, or something close to it, it is simply not there. At best, it is the sight of the interviewer trying very hard not to preen, as Modi says every now and then: Yeh bahut achcha sawal puccha apney (it’s a great question).

In poor Rahul Gandhi’s case, as he talks about systems, inclusive growth and allied subjects, despite his earnestness, the whole exercise itself becomes a joke! The dimpled smiles notwithstanding, it is painful to watch him struggle for relevant answers. Fortunately, Mama Sonia doesn’t give interviews either; watching her laboured speeches during campaigns is hard enough.

As for Arvind Kejriwal, he is more angry and anguished than all the other leaders. So, all we get from him is a terse: “ Janta in BJP aur Congresswalo ko sabak sikhayengi (The people will teach the BJP and Congress a lesson).

And if you are expecting humour or self-effacing wisecracks from the three iron ladies of Indian politics — Jaya, Maya and Mamata — you will have to wait forever! The first two are too imperious to grant interviews, and the third is badly ensnared in a web of paintings and tigers, neither being a laughing matter. And, anyway, each of them believes she is the greatest thing to have happened to her party.

All these parties are, of course, one-woman shows. Try and name two other leaders from the AIADMK, BSP or Trinamool Congress!

As for Mulayam, his speeches are difficult to understand. Lalu, one of the few to come up with earthy witticisms, often plays the role of the joker, and quite consciously too.

A different touch is indeed being provided by the much more articulate Priyanka Gandhi, who gets a little hot under the collar only when husband Vadra is mentioned, but try saying that and the trolls and Modi fans on Twitter will pounce on you with not-so-humorous charges of “cringe-worthy sycophancy” and worse! I’m afraid there’s no humour there either.

Did someone say Rajnath Singh? The man lurking in shadows for the big trophy just in case the NDA makes it to only 230, or thereabouts? A deep sigh should suffice as response.

But step back in time and think of a prime minister called Atal Bihari Vajpayee. Now that man could talk, laugh, indulge in repartee, recite poetry and charm those before him with effortless grace.

Rajnath Singh was right when he said in a recent TV interview when asked to compare Modi to Vajpyee that “ Atalji bus Atalji the ; he can’t be compared with anybody.”

But making up for the lack of charisma, articulation and, above all, humility amongst our politicians, one class of Indians is rocking. And that is our professionals, who are in great demand when it comes to global corporations filling CEO vacancies.

When Satya Nadella was chosen to head Microsoft, the Wall Street Journal ran a story on how the Chinese were wondering how come so many Indians were making it to topmost positions in western firms compared to the Chinese.

Pepsi’s Indra Nooyi kind of began that journey, and has kept her job, even as the list grows, with Anshu Jain of Deutsche Bank, Ajay Banga of Mastercard and now Rajeev Suri of Nokia.

While the reasons for Indians scoring on this front are given as better English language skills and greater understanding of western culture; surely, it’s much more than that.

Our biggest asset is living in a multicultural, pluralist and inclusive society, which gives us a wide range of experiences and skills. Also, Indians tend to be less stiff and much less clannish.

The last word on witty repartee should go to British politicians. For instance, the barbs exchanged between rival prime ministers William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli.

Once, at a social gathering, Gladstone told Disraeli: “I predict sir that you will die either by hanging or some vile disease.” To which the latter replied: “That, sir, depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.”

And then, of course, there was Winston Churchill. One of his quotes: “An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street and, when the door was opened, (Clement) Atlee got out!

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