When a woman dares to be different

The uproar over and fallout from the BJP leader Dayashankar Singh’s disparaging remarks on Bahujan Samaj Party chief Mayawati, and the retaliation from the BSP, particularly its leader Nasimuddin Siddiqui, has once again brought to the fore the ugly facets of how both Indian politicians and society look at women.

Alleging that Mayawati was selling tickets to BSP aspirants for the UP Assembly elections, Singh made the outrageous comment that she was “worse than a prostitute”.

An enraged Mayawati took this up in the Rajya Sabha and said that calling someone who is considered a ‘sister” (she is called Bahenji) by millions of dalits and other Indians, was akin to abusing all “mothers and sisters.

To its credit, the BJP reacted swiftly: Finance Minister Arun Jaitley immediately apologised and Singh was sacked both from the party post and the party.

But more was in the offing.

The stakes are high, especially for the BSP, which got zero Lok Sabha seats in the 2014 elections in UP, where there was a BJP sweep. Expectedly, Mayawati’s insult triggered massive protests, which unfortunately backfired on the BSP, unmasking the psyche of our male politicians when it comes to women and gender issues. Siddiqui crossed all lines and screamed: “Bring Dayashankar’s wife. Bring Dayashankar’s daughter.” The insinuations were disgusting.

Now this may be shocking, but not surprising. After all, for decades, Indian men have settled all kinds of scores — political, social, religious, caste, class, or land-based — by punishing women.

Historically, when a lower caste or class man commits a crime or breaks taboos, the fastest and most effective way to punish him, think our panchayat guys and politicians, is through his female relatives — wife, mother, sister, or daughter. That Dayashankar’s daughter is only 12 years old, a mere child, did not matter to Siddiqui and his supporters.

Now there is a clamour for Siddiqui’s scalp. And on her part, Mayawati has equated the insult as a slur on Dalit women.

Of course, both incidents have to be condemned in the strongest language. But what they have done is yet again exposed the ugly underbelly of the gender dialogue in India.

Such terminology and insults only unmask the sheer contempt that an average Indian male has for the Indian female. But, make no mistake about this, from underneath that contempt can be peeled off layers and layers of insecurity, jealousy, outrage, frustration that women are making strides across all fields, including politics, to grab leaderships positions.

Every time a lower caste woman is stripped and paraded, another one physically attacked or raped, and a third one abused verbally in filthy language, somewhere or the other there is power play involved. After all, isn’t there a hierarchy that has to be respected?

Aren’t men supposed to be physically stronger, more educated and in better positions and jobs than women?

Isn’t that how gender rules and roles have played out over centuries… he is the hunter or bread-earner or administrator, and she the one who converts the game/money into food for the family.

This power balance worked smoothly for centuries: the man called the shots and gave orders; the woman obeyed and the grateful man put her on a pedestal and called her Lakshmi, Saraswathi, and so on.

But then, all of a sudden, came kalyug , and overnight the rules of the game changed. Women entered universities and offices, and horror of horrors, even exclusive male domains ranging from politics and sports to space science, competed with men, and some of them walked far ahead.

From the rough and tumble of politics emerged a Mayawati, a Jayalalithaa and a Mamata Banerjee, not to mention an Indira Gandhi, and ruled with an iron fist and a heavy hand that made their male underlings cringe and tremble.

Down in Tamil Nadu, men’s spines were snatched away, resulting in comic moves and asanas that would impress any yoga guru or fitness enthusiast.

So when it is time to raise a stink or fling mud, what better targets than women politicians?

Note the alacrity with which Tamil Nadu Chief Minister J Jayalalithaa came to Mayawati’s defence.

In her political career, at every step she has faced mudslinging and filthy abuse targeted at her for being a woman, and a film star to boot. Her career choice, before becoming a politician, makes her doubly vulnerable. But the same didn’t hold true for male film star-turned politicians such as MGR or NTR.

Perhaps in a Kabali sequence, Rajnikanth, who plays a dalit who avenges the atrocities against Tamil dalits in Malaysia, will turn his wrath on those who insult women. At least let’s get women justice in the make-believe world.

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