My kid sister overheard a telephone conversation between me and my best friend that she (my friend) liked a guy (who is a family friend) and let the cat out of the bag to him. I feel responsible as my sister heard me exclaim ‘You like X!’ He was not aware of my friend’s feelings and my friend is upset. I am not sure what to do about this.
I do understand that you feel responsible, but what appears more apparent is that you may be feeling caught between your friend’s worry, your sibling’s interference and the boy’s (potential) reaction.
From the fact that you know that your friend is upset, it is clear that you have discussed it with her and therefore shown to her that you care how she feels. Chances are that your sister could inadvertently have played cupid and all ends well.
However, if the interest is not reciprocated, it is best not to turn an already embarrassing situation into something of a predicament.
In that case, you could offer, if she is comfortable with it, to have a word with the boy and explain to him to be considerate and mindful of what has taken place.
If your friend does not prefer that you to speak to him, best let things be and as time lapses, so will the memory of it.
Humour can be a useful tool to diffuse such situations; an interest in someone can be complimentary and at least nothing unsavoury was spoken about him!
Of course, some lessons cannot go unlearnt; your sister will need to apologise to your friend and hopefully she will not repeat what she hears again. As for you and your friend, best share such thoughts in strict confidentiality, certainly not within earshot of younger siblings and others. Finally, though an adage, these things do happen... so best for all concerned to try and wear it lightly.
(Nirupama is a clinical psychologist based in London, with an interest in working through adjustment issues with young adults.)