The puppy has arrived...

So your kids have arm-twisted and blackmailed you into getting them a pup and you have no idea what you’re really letting yourself in for, right? Beware, interesting days lie ahead. One of the first questions that’ll pop up is: what breed? That’s a personal matter, though these days if you don’t go in for one of the abandoned, mongrel pups milling about in shelters, you’ll be regarded as an outcast pariah by many dog-lovers. Whatever you choose, just remember don’t pick a St Bernard or Alaskan malamute if you live in places like Delhi. (Or before you do, wear a heavy fur overcoat and go for a run in Lodi Garden in June and see how you feel.) Mixed-breeds are tough, intelligent and versatile; purebreds, which are ‘specialists’, have alas been inbred till they’re cross-eyed. (But the good ones can be magnificent.)

Before you agree to get a pup, drill into your kids that they’re basically signing, at the minimum, a 10-year-agreement to take care of, feed, de-tick, play, exercise, clean-up after, and train the new addition to the family. Of course they’ll agree and of course you’ll find yourself holding the pup sooner rather than later, while they get on with their lives. Don’t worry — they don’t know what they’re missing! So how do you go about dealing with this wriggling bundle that your kids are mooning over and have dumped in your arms before going off to the malls?

The first thing you do when the pup arrives home is roll up the carpets. Little pups have little bladders and squirt frequently. Also, as you’ve just taken it away from its mom and siblings, it’s going to be a little bit frightened and insecure. Some people like locking the pup alone in a room or bathroom — letting it scream and yelp all night — thinking it’ll eventually settle down. My sister took our first pup into her bed with her on her first night at home and she duly piddled on the pillow. So a compromise was reached: the pup slept in our room, in her own bed at the foot of our beds.

The next thing you do is take it to the vet for a medical, and deworming and inoculations if required. Also make a list of FAQs and bombard the good doctor with them: How many feeds a day? Is dog or puppy food okay or will dalia and biscuits do? What medication is required? Can the pup be taken out? (Not until it has had its shots).

The first major issue you’ll face is toilet training. We spread newspapers all over the floor (especially at night), invested in a heavy-duty mop and kept a hawk’s eye on the pup when we were with her (most of the time). If you can take your pup out (into a garden or balcony), do so whenever it awakens, after it eats, plays and the moment it becomes pensive and starts going round in circles, and in fact every hour, on the hour, like the BBC News. Walk it around, muttering a key mantra, like, ‘hurry up’ or ‘just do it’ till it does. Eventually the penny will drop: it took my last dog, Wag, 16 trips out in a single day before he got the message. Accidents will of course happen: you return home to find puddles or worse on the floor; there’s no point in screaming at the pup now because it will have long forgotten about it and just be very distressed and think you hate it. Some dog pros recommend that you pour a little vinegar over the spot and make the pup sniff that, sort of superimposing ‘your’ (boss) smell over its, indicating that this is your spot and so sacrosanct. I can’t vouch for this, but it must be done as soon as the ‘crime’ is committed. Chops, our second boxer, began slyly making puddles in the bathroom when we left him and went out. Now what do you say to that?

In fact, being left home alone is one of the biggest traumas many pups encounter and something they probably have nightmares about. It’s called ‘separation anxiety’ and needs to be dealt with. The best solution, of course, is never to leave the pup completely alone, but these days that’s becoming increasingly difficult. But left alone in a quiet house, a pup can go completely berserk and do more damage than a grenade going off. Worse, it can injure itself by trying to escape from this solitary confinement and to find you: there have been cases of dogs jumping out of buildings in frustration. If your dog is going to be left alone, it needs to be trained: One recommendation is to leave a radio or TV on in the room, and start by deliberately leaving the pup alone for small amounts of time and praising it generously if it has remained quiet (and done no damage!) in that time. Gradually increase the amount of time until your dog gets used to it.

You will, of course, want your pup to be well-behaved and obedient. Frankly, I think a few basic commands are all it really needs to know: ‘sit’, ‘stay’, ‘come’ and ‘heel’. There’s a vast amount of literature on dog training available and it can confuse the heck out of you. Our first two dogs, both boxers, were free spirits, but the third one, a street-smart Labrador, I did attempt to discipline.

‘Sit’ is easy enough, you firmly lower the hindquarters of the pup till it naturally sits and keep repeating the command and praising it. The message will get home even if the pup thinks you’re nuts. For ‘stay’ you need more patience, make the pup sit, and back away holding up your hand like a traffic cop, repeating ‘stay!’ It will get up, of course, to follow you, wherein you repeat the exercise; eventually it’ll understand. ‘Stay’ needs a release command and you can slap your thighs and say ‘here’. I taught Wag to ‘come’ by simply calling him every time he ran to fetch the ball I’d thrown. He’d collect it, and I’d yell ‘come!’ and he came (simply because he wanted me to throw the ball again) till he automatically came when called. I didn’t work too hard on ‘heel’ because the dog is supposed to walk right next to you, almost bumping its nose against your shins and you sort of like to see it running ahead, nosing this way and that while enjoying its walk (as long as it’s not dragging you).

A dog likes a routine, and the daily walk or run (once or, better, twice) with you, its beloved owner, is usually the highlight of its day. Once your pup has had its shots, let it socialise with other dogs in the park. Two golden rules I made (after bitter experience) were: no feeding at the dining table, EVER; and no getting on to the furniture — beds, or chairs. Watch out for incipient ‘bad habits’ like barking in the car (Wag could knock your brains out), and nibbling that could turn into nipping or biting. Puppies chew like mad while they teeth and this puts furniture and footwear in peril. Get your puppy proper chews and keep all footwear out of reach: never make a toy out of a discarded slipper.

Some training manuals suggest you should reward your pup with tidbits every time it obeys a command, others say it should obey because it’s meant to and because it loves you and because you’re the boss, and not because of the tidbit in your pocket. I guess whatever works for you is fine; it’s the results that matter. Many of us, alas! send our pups and dogs out with our house-helps, which is sad, especially if the helps spend all their time gossiping in street corners.

Public littering by pets is another major problem, which in the West has been solved by owners cleaning up after their pets with poop-scoops: no one bats an eye doing this, but here in India? Oh dear, we’ll be hurting sentiments if we suggest such a thing.

What do you do when you’re off on a holiday? The best thing would be to take your dog along, but that’s not usually possible. There are boarding kennels boasting five-star hotel facilities, but if you’ve got dog-friendly friends, relatives or neighbours and house-help that you can trust, your dog will probably be happiest (under the circumstances) at home, being cared for by them.

One thing you can be sure of is that even if you’ve been gone a fortnight or longer, the moment you enter your front door it will be all over you, it’s tail blurring, barking with delight and licking your face.

No sulks. No tantrums: All sins forgiven.

Which other family member will give you such a welcome after you’ve behaved in such a heinous way?

Ranjit Lal is an author and environmentalist

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