We are a (recently formed) group of four close friends and get on well together. I come from a privileged background and feel embarrassed to share details of my holidays and so on as I worry that it may come in the way of our friendship.

While we certainly have no control over the family we are born into, we certainly have control over how we present ourselves or behave with each other.

Being mindful of each other’s backgrounds can help us understand each other better and it is to your credit that you care and are sensitive about it.

The given is that each one has equal opportunity as evident by the fact that you all go to the same college and thus share the same educational opportunities.

I understand that you worry if you disclosed details about your family’s lifestyle to your friends you may come across as being boastful.

The other side of the coin is that by withholding information from them you could create a misunderstanding that you did not think it was worthwhile to share details with them.

A potential divide could be created, especially if they got to know things from other sources. It is very important to be to be as congruent as we can to ourselves, in other words to be genuine in our dealings with friends.

Therefore, I would recommend that you be your natural selves with each other.

You can share your concerns openly with them and am sure they have aspects about themselves to share as well. A lot of times we presume a lot about each other, which may not necessarily be true.

Whatever background we are from, the important thing is to respect each other, value each other’s company and enjoy the time together.

This goes a long way for friendships to strengthen and the bonds to deepen.

>nraoseven@gmail.com

Nirupama is a clinical psychologist based in London, with an interest in working through adjustment issues with young adults.

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