Women understand pain. Or, at least, are taught to live with it.

It’s thanks to the fact that the female of the species is blessed with the boon of creation; for women can give life. So can cows and deer and all the she-animals that Noah saved from drowning by loading them into his Ark, but animals mostly manage the act of procreation as a matter of course. Women of the species homo sapien have it somewhat different.

Layers of superstition, the demands of urban living, lifestyles that run contrary to the natural, all add both mystery and suffering to what are natural process that the reproductive tract undergoes. Menarche thus often comes with its load of cramps and pain, which women are conditioned to bear with white-lipped stoicism; and childbirth is feared by many who seek epidurals or C-Sections as the delivery date draws near.

Pain, women tell one another, is a given. Men tell themselves that too, that women are cursed with the bane of pain, and blessed with the ability to bear it stoically. Perhaps, for eons men have fooled themselves thus to absolve themselves of the responsibility of caring.

Power of choice

Luckily most women today enjoy the power of choice over their bodies. Especially when it comes to avoiding repeated pregnancies through the long period of fertility. And rightly so, for women have realised that, with or without the man’s knowledge, they must take control of their wombs, to ensure they do not put their life aside to fulfil the role of a baby making machine.

The days of compulsory sterilisation drives have fortunately been left far behind, and for many, surgical intervention to prevent pregnancy is a chosen option.

Deciding to permanently put behind oneself the fear of an unwanted pregnancy is a choice many women make, willingly. Others agree to it when advised by a midwife or doctor. But men are much less accepting of the idea that they sterilise themselves. This, despite the fact that for the former, even the key-hole surgery, performed under general anaesthesia, takes longer and involves the usual risks linked to invasive procedures, whereas men have it easier. In recent years, ‘the snip and a stitch’ had given way to Non Scalpel Vasectomy, and they can walk right out of the procedure, with little fear of problems following.

Yet it is that statistics prove that women undergoing tubectomies far outnumber men opting for sterilisation through vasectomies. Count that as 480 men against 14,000-plus women in the period between 2022 to March 2023; figures pertaining to Mumbai. If there is cheer in the fact the numbers rose tenfold in in the past year, that it was only because of an increase in the incentive offered, as an initiative by the Indian Medical Association, is a sobering thought.

One of the reasons for the low numbers for men, besides the obvious fact that they do not bear the burden of carrying a foetus to full term, is the perceived threat to the very essence of their machoness, as a fallout from the operation.

If a city like Mumbai where women form a formidable workforce and a certain amount of heft due to their financial independence can show such a dismal imbalance, the figures in the 146 districts from the seven high fertility States (Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh, Chhattisgarh, Jharkhand and Assam) constituting 44 per cent of the country’s population must be much worse. Even the South, with its new breed of films promoting super macho men who use their women like briefcases, may flaunt the same skewed balance.

True that pushing men toward sterilisation can be a dangerous game, as history has shown us. Awareness through information is the answer. A sense of responsibility towards the universe may be too much to expect; but greater understanding towards their partners can surely be inculcated.

Any ideas how to make this miracle happen?

The writer is a Consulting Editor with Penguin India

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