The strongest bond that held the Indian society together, from times immemorial, was the joint family system. The households often were on the verge of bursting at the seams with all members of the family, encompassing several generations, living together. The earnings, facilities and resources were all pooled and all the expenses, liabilities and discomforts shared.

The presiding patriarch had a finger in every pie. He had the unchallenged right to determine the priorities and allocations in respect of the demands and needs of the family as a whole. His choice of the bride or bridegroom was final and acted upon without question.

Keeping a joint family going smoothly was no joke. It called for tremendous efforts and adjustments, deriving from a high degree of tolerance, patience and forbearance, all rooted in mutual affection, deep sensitivity and give-and-take.

The greatest services rendered by the joint family system were in the social and cultural spheres. First and foremost, it was the most effective and equitable, if not ingenious, social security network devised by humankind. The family members belonging to the younger generation willingly, gladly and unstintingly took care of the elders, providing them support and being on call in good and bad times.

SAVING GRACE

Next, the joint family was the fountainhead, preserver, protector and promoter of the values and tenets on which Indian society itself was founded. Babysitting by grandparents, accompanied by telling of stories, avidly listened to by children, was the most powerful, and at the same time, the most delectable, means of passing on to future generations the grandeur and glory of India's cultural heritage. It also fostered, strengthened and sustained the spirit of ‘all for each and each for all'.

Alas, it has all but disappeared in its homeland. But there is a saving grace: It has surfaced in the US — at least that part to do with rediscovering the value of grandparents. “American is swiftly becoming a granny state” is how a report by the Associated Press (AP) begins its account of today's grandparents in that country “shunning retirement homes and stepping in more than ever to raise grandchildren while young adults struggle in the poor economy.”

It further says that “newer grandparents are mainly ‘baby-boomers' who are still working, with greater disposable income. Now making up 1 in 4 adults, grandparents are growing at twice the rate of the overall population and sticking close to family — if their grandkids aren't already living with them.”

It quotes grandparents who describe how they pitch in with health-care payments for family members due to insurance gaps and help out by running errands, babysitting, taking the grandkids to doctors' appointments, and shopping.

Their interest in their grandchildren is no longer confined to giving them toys and presents, but they contribute with their own disposable income to sports, camps, tutoring, music lessons and other educational needs.

‘AGING IN PLACE'

This is not surprising when it is remembered that US households headed by baby-boomers command almost half of the nation's total household income and that unemployment among workers ages 25 to 34 last year was double that of Americans aged 55 to 64. The US Census data released on August 25 reveals that about 5.8 million children, or nearly 8 per cent of all children, are living with grandparents declared as the heads of households — the largest in the last 40 years and believed to be the largest share ever. In some States, especially in West and South, the percentage of such joint households is even larger, touching 10 per cent or more.

There are currently 62.8 million grandparents in the US, the most ever, making up roughly 1 in 3 adults. The AP report says that “these grandparents reject living in senior communities in favour of ‘aging in place' in their own homes, near family” and refers to a finding of the Bureau of Labour Statistics that in 2009, grandparents aged 55 or older spent billions of dollars on infant food, clothes, toys, games, tuition and supplies for grandchildren.

Bravo, US grandparents! May your tribe increase!

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