The quality of mercy

Every time he speaks, the Dalai Lama says: be compassionate. Actually, why should anyone tell us that, we should simply be that way. Isn’t that what separates us human beings from other living creatures? But we’re not.

Take a look at how we treat the elderly in India, across the social spectrum, in public and private spaces. We treat them like ‘things’, devoid of ideas, intelligence and feelings. We order them about. We ride roughshod over them. We are often plain disrespectful to them.

That’s why we get so impatient when they take time to open the door or answer the phone or sometimes even respond to a question. We often only half-listen when they speak and totally discount their opinions and suggestions. We curse them roundly when they drive slowly on the road or take time to cross the street. We don’t particularly take the trouble to make them feel safe. We are irritated by their fears — of the dark, of being alone, of death.

The instant reaction would be to call these unfair generalisations, but just stop for a moment and think.

It’s the same with children, again across the spectrum: we don’t spare them either from our tough-talking, rough-handling ways. No wonder there are so many instances of teachers going ballistic on their wards. We don’t listen when children speak, we speak rudely and loudly to them, we slap them, punish them, expect unreasonable things from them when we ourselves do nothing about setting the right example.

We don’t read, but expect our children to; we don’t exercise, but expect our children to; we bluff , but expect our children never to lie; we chat and browse and loll around, but expect our children to sit with their noses to the grindstone; we freely ‘hate’ certain foods, but insist our children eat whatever they’re served. No matter what, children are always wrong. We will not brook explanations, we call it talking back.

It’s a strange thing. Those elderly were once in their prime, as we are now. These children will grow up to become the tough cookies we are now. What a way to go.

Yet, there is a simple solution. Grow some compassion in yourself. It doesn’t take effort nor even time. And the world just might be a better place, in every way.

Senior Assistant Editor

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