FROM THE VIEWSROOM. My family and other women

I was at the travel agent’s recently. She was discussing hotel and flight fares with a man who was planning a family trip. “I want the women to be safe,” he was saying. The agent suggested a certain airline which would provide meals too. “Ah, that one … well, I suppose I would not mind seeing those sari-clad women at night,” the man said, adding after a pause: “That airline, it’s high time they changed!” After an instant’s bemusement, I understood — he wanted to feast his eyes on air-hostesses in western attire even as he wanted the women in his family to be safely ensconced in a decent hotel, unseen by wolves.

The level of sensitivity in our country seems to be inversely proportional to the growing need for it at a time when crimes against women are being revealed and reported in greater numbers. During any debate on such issues, rape, for instance, the voices of hypocrites and bigots seem to mushroom, not shrink. In any class of society, double standards abound in the way women are regarded, depending on whether they are ours or others’. How many times haven’t we heard people say that well, yes, rape is bad but the victim was of “questionable” character and therefore, you know, well …? (Ignore the issue of consent, it is assumed that it just cannot be as traumatic for her as for an “innocent” woman.) How many times have people like us said she had had it coming because of her clothing? I have known men to say some women should be “raped” (or burnt with acid) to be taught a lesson, never mind that they have daughters, sisters and wives themselves. Does this not prove that rape is about exerting power and dispensing retribution, and not about sex and desire? Forget active support, even empathy seems to be an impossible demand.

Amidst all this, there’s a sliver of comfort, though. Those “aunty” air-hostesses are entitled to an opinion about their passengers’ looks too.

Sravanthi Challapalli is Deputy Editor

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