The US President, Donald Trump, had lunch last week with ‘Field Marshal’ Asim Munir of Pakistan, which had been whipped by India about 40 days earlier. Indians are perplexed by this but the answer is that Trump probably wants the Pakistani army to do some fighting in Iran on America’s behalf. It’s already helping with non-combat operations.

Even otherwise, Indians get very exercised over the US-Pakistan relationship. They shouldn’t. America is a closet thug. Pakistan is its girlfriend. That’s all there is to it. We shouldn’t confuse power with the influence that a girlfriend has.

In Meerut district of Uttar Pradesh there is a small tehsil — or whatever it is classified as now — called Sardhana. It used to be an independent principality until 1947. In 1953, the estate was apparently valued at 18 billion deutsche marks.

It was ruled for a very long time by a former dancing girl who came to be known as, yes, you guessed it, Begum Samru. Her life and ascent to power and riches offer many parallels to what Pakistan has become for the last 70 years. Like Pakistan she was small, just 4’6”, but she punched well above her weight.

Upwardly mobile

She appears to have been of Kashmiri descent who, at the age of 14, was sent off to Delhi around 1770 to become a concubine to a French mercenary. His name was Reinhardt Sombre. This fellow managed to acquire a large landholding or jagir at Sardhana. That resembles the land Pakistan got in 1947.

It’s not clear if the two ever married but when Sombre died in 1778 Begum Samru — who was actually Farzana Zeb-un Nisa, later to become a catholic called Joanna Nobolis Sombre — inherited the estate. Over the next half century she built Sardhana up into a powerful principality with a highly trained professional army. It even held the English army at bay at the Battle of Assaye in 1803 against the Marathas whose army took to heel.

But British power could not be defied for long and she made herself useful to the British in a variety of ways, just as Pakistan has since 1971 to the Americans. For such entities no sin is permanent, no wound unhealed.

Thus once the commander of the British army gave her a full-on kiss. This infuriated her troops. She pacified them saying it was just a Padre blessing her. Recall how the US kisses the Pakistan army and how the people hate it and what the army tells them.

She was also careful to be nice to other admirers who were mostly the friends of Sombre. All this stood her in good stead and she was allowed to do pretty much as she pleased by the new power in North India, Britain. That’s how the US, which is now bent on destroying Iran’s nuclear plans, actually allowed Pakistan to build nuclear weapons.

The deal with Israel, which was forced to give up its nuclear ambitions, was different. You give up yours because we, said the US, will keep ours in Pakistan, which is but a few minutes away from Tehran.

Anyway, getting back to the good Begum, she was quite a fighter, often leading her troops on horseback. So frightening was her reputation that many believed she was the devil, or shaitan, who could kill you merely by throwing her cape at you.

The Pakistani variant of this scariness is its threat that, if necessary, it will use nuclear weapons against itself, you know, all that talk about tactical nuclear weapons and ‘paav kilo da bum’ or a 250 gram bomb!

The Samru stories

There are many books about Begum Samru, the most authoritative one being by John Lall. It is full of the most fascinating stories about the good Begum.

The key to her success, as opposed to the rest who were trying to become like her, was her ability to turn adversity into good fortune.

One moment she was your enemy, next your best friend. What mattered was the need of the hour and the ability, not only to grasp an opportunity but also to identify your opponent’s weaknesses and exploit them. She would have made a terrific leader of Pakistan.

See how that country is officially sponsoring Trump for the Nobel peace prize, saying he brokered the May ceasefire, and leveraging the crypto business. Pakistan is smart as smart can be. It knows how to gratify its patrons.

There are some interesting stories about the Begum’s methods. She once entered into a suicide pact with a French lover because her followers protested. But then she waited until he had shot himself.

Pakistan, when you think about it, did exactly this to the US in Afghanistan. Is it Iran’s turn now?

Published on June 22, 2025