Brush away the jitters!

I am getting married in a week and now I have the jitters, though I was fine when I got engaged. I am not sure if I am ready for marriage. Help!

As a life event, marriage requires real changes and commitment ranging from living with another person to embracing a new life and family.

As stages, the period of engagement and marriage are significantly different. It is natural for you to feel the ‘jitters’.

The engagement period is akin to courtship and stress-free as you are still at home with your family. Marriage potentially encroaches into unknown territory especially as there is no template for it to follow.

Whatever your idea of marriage may be through other peoples’ marriages, there is no doubt that your marriage will be your own, unique experience.

The fact that you were fine during the engagement period suggests to me that you are happy in the present relationship.

However, I feel it is important for you to rule out for sure that you do not have genuine doubts. Are you worried about your relationship or marriage in general? Are your nerves more about the social occasion of the wedding day?

You might be worrying about the planning, the expenditure, the guests, the ceremony and that it should all go off well together with how you would cope with it all.

It may be worthwhile for you to share your fears with your family and close friends and listen to their experiences.

week before your wedding, it may be good for you to pamper yourself.

If the ‘jitters’ still persist and make you extremely anxious and tearful, it would be best to speak to a counsellor.

We all know that apart from the bride and groom, it is the rest of the family and friends who actually enjoy the fanfare of the wedding day and this is probably the one time that you will get all the attention, so why not enjoy it!

(The author is a clinical psychologist, interested in working with adjustment issues through young adults.)

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