It’s pretty straightforward. If you’re in a group discussion, don’t be That Guy (or Girl)who:

1.Has no idea what the topic means but starts talking anyway: We know you’re doing this just because all your coaching classes have told you to “try to be the initiator” and “never be silent”. So, wait for the other participants to say something unless you’re absolutely sure you know what you’re talking about.

2.Pretends he’s being grilled by an anchor on primetime evening news: You don’t have to get so aggressive about your stand. If people are picking your point apart it’s because the topic is really controversial and opinions are extreme, or your point was never very great to begin with and the others have caught on to this.

3.Dominates the conversation: Find that you’re one of the only talkative persons in the group? In that case, either you’re one of the few who is familiar with the topic, or the other participants are all reticent individuals. Don’t treat this GD as an opportunity to dominate – instead, make your point, then listen to everyone else’s opinions as well. Don’t also be too much of a nice guy and ask the quiet ones if they had something they wanted to share, unless you’ve noticed them trying to speak up.

4.Destroys someone else’s argument: Yes, the argument that the speaker made was so incredibly stupid/offensive that it had its very own Madhuri Dixit item number, just in case it still hadn’t caught your attention. However, use this opportunity to take the high road.

Surely the moderators would have noticed the gaffe and the speaker would be in enough trouble with them already. So, instead of saying, “How DARE you!”, say, “I disagree with your argument and feel that (insert politically correct viewpoint here). However, getting back to the topic, I believe…”. This way you’re stating your stand and also ensuring that the discussion doesn’t go off track.

5.Makes (unsupported) sweeping statements: Yes, we all know that “brain drain” happens, that India is unsafe for women, and that today’s youth don’t know what they want from life.

However, you can’t say any of these things without substantiating with data. And by data, I mean hard evidence, not anecdotes from your life, like, “We’re always reading about rape in the newspapers, right? / My real ambition is to become a professional birdwatcher, but I’d like to get an MBA first”. If you are using data – current affairs, facts, statistics, historical events – to bolster an argument, make sure they are accurate.

6.Changes his stand halfway: Five minutes ago you were fully in support of employees having the option of working from home; but suddenly, when you find that you have more points to say against this premise, you change your opinion. This will create the impression that you are an undecided individual.

Once you take a stand, you’ve got to stick with it throughout, even if your stand is named Titanic and sailing directly into an iceberg.

Last minute prep Now that you’re reasonably schooled in Group Discussion Etiquette, all that’s left for you is to prepare and practice. According to bookstore bestseller lists, you’re currently reading love stories about engineers (better than vampires, I guess?), and a series featuring Hindu Gods who also happen to be superheroes of some sort. Unfortunately, these books will not help you in a GD, so add newspapers, magazines and non-fiction to your daily reading.

Practise doing mock discussions and receiving feedback from experienced individuals.

And on the day of your discussion, remember: the other participants want the job/college seat/anything else that people hold group discussions for as much as you do, and they’re just as nervous as you are. So be nice, have your say, and whatever happens, keep your cool.

(The author is a psychologist.)

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