Fear is the key

I was invited to conduct a training program for an organisation.

The brief offered to me by the Managing Director was, “My people are good, yet I wish they demonstrate leadership in what they do.”

I interviewed a few of the managers individually, with whom I believe I had built a level of trust, and in the interview with each of them I sensed ‘deep fear.’

I therefore asked some of them, who I experienced as willing to talk, if my sensing was incorrect, and they confirmed that I had adequately gauged their feeling.

When I sought reasons for fear, I found them essentially blaming the ‘management’.

Even as I listened to what they were saying, I became aware that their reasoning for the presence of fear was not what they were saying but at a deeper level.

Perhaps, they were not aware of the impetus for fear, or they were unable to articulate it? In fairness, I did not think it appropriate to misjudge them.

Reflecting on the possible reason for the presence of fear, I got in touch with how I have myself responded to fear over the years.

I think, at least in the context of organisations and relationships that are formed there in, fear is felt in three distinct situations:

* I fear that I may show up as inadequate, hence struggle to protect myself.

* I have lied and am protecting myself.

* I might lose my job if I confront.

All these reasons have been cause for fear in me.

Over the years I have realised that my lack of feeling secure within, my belief that I have to be seen ‘so’, my need to be approved, all these have crystallised as fear in me.

And rather than own my fear I tend to become defensive, fault and blame those who I assume will expose me and, therefore, justify my position.

The panacea for fear that I cause myself to experience is to:

* Recognise that I am not on probation as a human being.

* Recognise that I am not inadequate, I just may not have the knowledge which I can gain if I invest in learning.

* Realise that to admit I do not know is not a sign of weakness and is instead revealing my authenticity.

* Speak my truth instead of disguising it or lying.

Hence what is most fitting for me to overcome and combat my fear is to practice what Polonius says to his son Laertes in Hamlet “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not be false to any man.”

(The writer is a visiting professor at the Great Lakes Institute of Management, Chennai and is an organisational and behavioural consultant. He can be contacted at ttsrinath@gmail.com)

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