Got a mail today from a start-up venture that claimed to be an app for women, run by women. It claimed to be ‘one of the world’s biggest dating app (sic). The poor grammar almost made me send it to the bin, (the missing plural has become the norm for writers of promotional material and young journos) but a detail of the app that caught my eye, made me stop to read on. The mail claimed it was from an extramarital app. Ooookkkkay!

The world of commerce is constantly looking to improvise. And technology offers endless possibilities.

Safe hunting ground

Little wonder some smart women have put their heads together to create a safe hunting ground for women who want to hunt, or be hunted. And marriage vows be damned. It’s a clever thought; besting Tinder, which may well lose one half of its clientele.

If one can have taxi services for women, and women-only train and bus services, why not a service to smooth the rough road of an extramarital affair, exclusively meant for women.

According to the mail, the app has seen a 383 per cent user increase in the last year, adding 740,000 new entrants, bringing their user base to 2.8 million Indian users (the app uses the word female, but I prefer women, as men and women are more than just gender classifications). This includes a 128 plus percentage increase in women users.

Which means, post Covid, not only are people buying more, travelling more but are also out shopping enthusiastically for more affairs.

Of course, no one believes in that myth called monogamy any more. Of course men have continued to play the field, and find willing responders, and in the majority of cases, they are women.

So it follows that a considerable percentage of those looking for a sexual adventure are women. And a percentage of those women are sure to be married.

Now, the app is claiming that the percentage is higher than one might have expected; and it is not just the upwardly mobile wage earner, the young, unfettered professional and the reckless ingénue staking her place in the sun who are out looking for a good bed. Married women are not really far behind.

What drives this urge? Boring, unimaginative husbands? Husbands too busy for their wives? Abusive husbands? We have seen all of these reasons and more for adultery, on the screen. Cinema and television thrive on the theme.

Or is it a new realisation driven home to women by the explicit scenes that are on the screens across the country, that there is much more to a sexual relationship than married life has given?

But getting back to the app. A survey carried out by it, across tier 1and 2 cities reveals trends in clandestine relationships that include women who prefer local connections for convenience, women who prefer far away locations for discretion, and a definite preference in many for the anonymity of the larger cities. And for those who want adventure without danger, the app offers pathways to digital relationships.

What the app does not seem to know is that more and more of the smaller hotels are demanding proof of marriage. What it also does not tell those it facilitates into digital relationships is, that these hold the spur that pushes the players into the open arena, wanting more.

Emotional relationship

What the app does not say is that an extramarital affair has the possibility of growing into an emotional relationship, and that, as we know, has sticky repercussions.

Freedom is a wonderful feeling, and any adventure is pure adrenaline running through the veins. But what happens when the euphoria of dabbling in what the app labels, ‘the diverse pathways of exploring the complexity of human relationships,’ dies down? Will it leave behind broken hearts/broken homes? Or mean the start of yet another ride on the roller coaster of sexual adventure? Worth a thought.

The writer is a Consulting Editor with Penguin India

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