It's with some dismay that I see Sarahah, yet another secret messaging app, going viral in India. I had hoped it would stay in the corner it was created in - Saudi Arabia - but no, it had to spread here, now touching family and friends.

If you remember Secret, Whisper, YikYak, and that other awful Peeple app that was based on the idea of giving others ratings and feedback, the lot didn't take long to run into trouble. I briefly tried one of these and it was viscous. Groups were wasting no time bad-mouthing others and it was obvious who was who because enough hints were given in posts for you to identify the person. I soon left, but not without a bad taste in the mouth and the uncomfortable knowledge that these apps were just bringing out the worst in people.

If Sarahah wants to be a platform for honesty first, which I’m told is what the word means in Arabic, what is the idea of being dishonest about who you are?

From being a tool for personal development and constructive feedback, which is what Sarahah developer Zain al-bidin Tawfiq very generously intended it to be, it’s quickly become a platform for explicit sexual advances and trolling, if not outright bullying — all of it unprintable otherwise. It’s obvious that such networks only give people a channel on which they can let go of social norms and behave as they never wood in the real world. Even setting that aside, why should hiding behind anonymity be a way of giving anyone honest feedback?

Most critical feedback is really no news to the recipient. If you tell me I’m intolerant (I’m really not, I promise) at work, it can hardly be a huge shock. If I am, the reaction of colleagues and bosses will have given me more than a hint. Hearing it anonymously doesn’t suddenly give me a way of tackling and overcoming the shortcoming of intolerance in my nature. What might work instead, is a manager at work sitting down with me and gently explaining to me the consequences of how I behave towards others. Or perhaps showing me better ways of getting things done.

Giving and receiving feedback is never ever easy and tossed carelessly and anonymously via an app or social network can do little but hurt. For teenagers, who are busy trying to navigate the hormonally riddled territory of adolescent years, ‘negative’ feedback is highly unlikely to be constructive and could just provide that fourteenth reason. It’s with no surprise that I read about a girl who committed suicide after some stinging remarks on Sarahah. It wouldn’t have been the only reason, but it could have been the last straw.

It’s really the vulnerable who will be attracted to a platform like Sarahah, other than the curious and those looking for some sport at the expense of someone else. Any ‘feedback’ thrown around is about to do as much good as a stone thrown at you. It will hurt, leave you feeling misunderstood, and give you little chance to put your arguments forward, explaining circumstances.`

The best place for an employer to praise someone is really in public, where it has the maximum impact. If not, there’s email, a phone call, or over coffee at the office canteen.

There’s also Linkedin, where you can both recommend and mentor someone. Thinking back to something wonderful a teacher once said to be I can’t help wondering if it would have been as nice had she just sent me a message somewhere. Instead, she said what she had to in front of all my class mates at the college valedictory function, Not only do I glow with pleasure many years later at the memory, but my classmates’ warm and enthusiastic agreement gives me a thrill even today. Thankfully there were no apps back when I was in college.

As for criticism that is obviously going to hurt: there should first of all be enough honesty and courage on one side to give that possibly necessary feedback in person and enough willingness to receive the feedback. Only then is it going to lead to any personal development. Coming from nowhere in particular.

Mind you, there are some who think Sarahah is a great concept, at least going by some of the surfaced reviews on the app stores. Whether it’s that or sheer curiosity, something has taken Sarahah to the top on Apple’s App Store. Like Whisper and Secret however, it’s likely to fade into the history of apps that inexplicably went viral before fading into the dust.

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