Dr Mahinder Watsa lives by the sea in Mumbai. Parked on bikes and on the footpath below his house are samplings of the ilk that sends him questions — hormonal canoodling couples, who might write urgently to him a few weeks later about missed periods, the side-effects of excessive masturbation or whether lemon juice can be a contraceptive. On the phone with him is a 61-year-old asking what he can take to prolong his erection. And how often he can take it.

In a country that shies away from discussing sex, in the school or home, there’s Dr Watsa. The questions have piled up rapidly during his decade-long stint as the Sexpert at the compact newspaper Mumbai Mirror — 20,000 queries in all, according to editor Meenal Baghel, and many of these have found their way into his recently released book It’s Normal .

The bizarreness of the questions and his matching wry wit have earned him cult status. When a man asked whether it was okay to have sex with Ramila the goat, Watsa replied, ‘Why don’t you ask Ramila whether she would like it?’ Yet another wanted to know if he could squeeze a few drops of lemon juice into his partner’s vagina as an emergency contraceptive, to which the untiring obstetrician and gynaecologist — whose 60-year career includes stints in private practice, the Family Planning Association of India, and as health expert for readers of Femina , Flair and Fantasy — shot back, ‘Are you a bhelpuri-wallah? Use a condom next time.’

Such is his fame that New York-based filmmaker Vaishali Sinha is now making a documentary on him. “While you can broadly categorise the problems, there are limitless variations in the questions. The documentary is very much about the man behind the column,” says Sinha in a telephonic interview.

Films about sexuality and reproductive health are Mumbai-raised Sinha’s forte and passion. Having moved to New York City in 2005, she stumbled upon Watsa’s columns during one of her research projects. “I had left India by the time his columns were published... I found that this is where people were asking questions without any shame... basic questions about sexuality and its anxieties. His way of communication — addressing the query in a few lines, with clarity, was also unique,” she says.

His body of work also threw a singular light on female sexuality. For instance, while a good 70-80 per cent of the questions are about masturbation, only 3-5 per cent is about female masturbation. “Teachers and parents tell me that girls mimic sexual activity like rubbing their thighs together while, say, watching a film; there is little knowledge about this outlet. Much later on, they may use a foreign object,” he says. But there are no terrifying myths around it, like in the case of male masturbation (prompting a flood of nervous enquiries about potential loss of energy/ sperm reserve/ hair/ sight/ concentration). He fears that many suicides by hanging are actually masturbation experiments gone wrong.

The wedding night is another wellspring of insecurities and fears of pain. “Sometimes couples come to me after a year, saying their marriage has not been consummated because the bride is afraid,” he says. “I explain to her that the vagina is made of elasticated rings that can expand to allow a baby’s head to pass through. Sometimes the men are not knowledgeable enough and do it in a painful way. I counsel the man to indulge in more foreplay to ease intercourse.”

Unrealistic expectations and negative body images fuel a whole range of anxieties. “Women write asking how to increase breast size, because they feel unattractive. I inform them that the purpose of the mammary glands is not affected by the bust size and they should concentrate on their assets instead,” Watsa says. “I see this in men. One judge came to me because he could not stop himself going to sex workers just to fondle their breasts, because his wife was small-breasted. I asked him why he didn’t consider this while marrying her… He said he was busy studying and left the choice to his parents.”

While one section of the population is ignorant, a larger section thinks it knows it all. “There’s abuse of the morning-after pill (which can cause abortion in the first few weeks) and irregular ingestion of contraceptives,” he says. “There are more instances of premarital sexual activity now than when I started, but most times the onus of protection is left to the male partner, who will rely on the withdrawal method (or, as in one misguided attempt, take the morning-after pill himself).”

“I would say Dr Watsa is a feminist,” says Sinha, whose film is now in post-production stage and readying for film festivals in 2016. “His attitude towards women is open-minded. It felt shocking to see this in the mainstream.”

What the doctor ordered included extended foreplay, putting her orgasm first and physical affection outside the bedroom in the form of massages or bathing together, and caring and sharing. “Women go through many stages,” he explains. “If a girl is born when the family is expecting a boy, there’s that first rejection. Then the fear and ignorance surrounding menstrual cycles… trauma of the first sexual encounter... dryness during menopause which makes intercourse painful, but the libido is high. A skilled partner would use a lubricant here.”

Watsa has been talking about sex long before it became acceptable to do so, through the free-sex revolution of the ’60s, the licentiousness of the decades that followed, and now in the internet era where talk about birds and bees are seemingly irrelevant. “Sometimes, adolescents know more about it than parents. This is an opportunity to turn this into a positive learning experience for the parents,” he says.

He has been sued for vulgarity more than once.

At his book signing, he sold a few copies and was told that most sales would happen later, when the older lot could slip in unnoticed to make a purchase.

A plaque overlooking the 91-year-old doctor in his study says, “Bless me unto usefulness.” That desire has been fulfilled.

Mitali Parekhis a Mumbai-based columnist

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