I brace myself against the merciless, probing fingers of the Delhi winter and weave through badminton players and sleeping dogs until I reach the tree I am looking for. Munna is sitting on one of the lower branches, hopping from foot to foot, displaying the same restless energy that must have first brought him to the notice of the Home Ministry. I find this disturbing. Is he not too active for the position at stake?

“I’m not always this active,” he says, sensing my thoughts, “I can sit on things too. For a very long time. My wife makes me sit on our eggs for hours. What am I, I ask her, a cockatoo? But she never listens.”

Is he flexible enough, though, I wonder? Repeating faithfully is just part of the job, although vital. A CBI Director also needs to be flexible.

“I can do somersaults!” says Munna, and does a quick reverse back-flip, “Plus I am an OBC!”

I need no more. There is no doubt in my mind that this small, feathered creature will soon head India’s premier detective agency. I head back towards the gate, narrowly avoiding an old man doing jumping jacks. As I leave a thought occurs to me, which is equally applicable to you.

Next time you go to the zoo, you could be looking at a future government officer.

Aamir Khan to play triplets!

(The Investigator is a fortnightly round-up of all things droll and newsy. All views are personal. Really personal.)

Shovon Chowdhury is chief Truthdigger and author of The Competent Authority. Follow Shovon on Twitter @shovonc

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