The Hindu Business Line : Business deals over meals

Dos & don'ts
Keep your elbows off the table and mind your posture; this makes an enormous impression.
Do not order difficult to eat food and never talk with your mouth full.
Women, please do not apply makeup or comb your hair at the table.
While dining, never use toothpicks, fingernails or napkins to dislodge food from your teeth.
Excuse yourself and take your cellular phone calls in the hall or outside.
In most cases, you do not begin business discussions until after the main course.
If there is a problem with the service or the food, handle it discreetly; never make a scene in front of your guest.

Best business behaviour at meals can make a lasting impression.

Westerners do an extraordinary amount of business over meals. From a quick staff breakfast to `working lunches' to cocktail receptions and formal dinners.

If you want to make a lasting impression, then it pays to be on your best business behaviour at any such meal. Of course, you need to be knowledgeable in your field, but you also need the style and grace to see you through these events.

The goal is to emerge from the meal with your professional image intact — and even enhanced.

Are you nervous about conducting business over a meal? Don't be. Business entertaining is a way to foster personal trust and confidence and is the fastest growing way to do business.

There is, however, a lot that goes into a meeting around a meal, from setting up the whole `date' to behaving properly.

Let's take things from the point of view of the host in setting up the actual meal. First consider the amount of time you and your guest will have. Which time of day would be the most appropriate?

Breakfast meetings: These rarely last more than 45 minutes to an hour. They imply certain urgency and are often convenient when travelling.

Lunch: Lunch is usually best for getting to know a guest a bit better. You do not have to talk about business.

Tea: Afternoon tea, or coffee, is a relaxed way to spend 45 minutes or an hour talking about business.

Dinner: Dinner is a more formal business invitation. Generally, this is not a time to talk about business, but rather a time to get to know the other person and enjoy each other's company. Dinner is rarely a first invitation.

Before you extend the invitation, check with two restaurants near the client's location. Make two reservations on two different days to give your guest a choice. Then do the same for time preferences.

Arrive 15 minutes early to check the table to see if it is a good location and wait for your guest in the lobby or near the front door.

Do not have anything to eat or drink while you are waiting; you want to appear to your guest as if you have just arrived. Ask your guest to follow the restaurant's host or hostess to the table ahead of you and offer your guest the best seat. Once seated, make suggestions about the menu, but allow your guest to order first and always match the number of courses you are having to your guest's order.

It is not necessary for you to drink alcohol to make your clients comfortable as long as your behaviour in no way suggests disapproval of their drinking.

Business meals can often be a multi-tasking nightmare. During a typical business meal you must be a good listener, ask and answer questions intelligently, talk about your company confidently and appear pleasant and relaxed. If you throw a full table of food into the equation, things can really get messy!

Your mastery of good table manners comes in handy. It gives you the confidence of knowing that you can conduct yourself properly without having to think too hard about your behaviour. After all, you are trying to have a conversation with your guest, not concentrating on which fork to use.

And, choosing the correct silverware from the variety in front of you is not as difficult as it may first appear.

Starting with the knife, fork or spoon that is farthest from your plate, work your way in, using one utensil for each course. A simple rule to remember is: liquids are to the right and solids are to the left.

Polite dining at the table, whether formal or informal, is one of the codes of behaviour that those in the West consider important.

Keep in mind that by mastering these finer skills, you become a more valuable representative of your company, an exceptional host, and even more sought after as a dinner guest.

(The writer is a US-based international partner of Global Adjustments, the Chennai-headquartered cross-cultural training and services company. She is Founder-President of Etiquette Survival, California.)

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