The Hindu Business Line : Love thy European neighbour

It was a beautiful sunny weekend in Munich and the Mehta family had invited home their Indian friends, all IT engineers, spouse and children who had moved to Germany, for a Diwali bash. The children were running, playing, making a racket, as is their wont. The doorbell chimed. It was their neighbour who had come by and complained about the noise, saying it was excessive. The Mehtas immediately apologised and as a gesture of benevolence, even tried to hush up the children. The party continued. Within an hour, the doorbell rang again and this time it was the police. The Mehtas had a written warning of cacophony and a € 500 consequence!

Sanjay Gupta who had moved to Paris on a long-term assignment, decided to move back to India in less than three months. Reason: Mrs Gupta had been caught and accused of "shoplifting" in a supermarket. She had gone shopping with her three-year-old son who innocently held on to a toy that was not paid for.

Indian companies are rapidly moving into Europe for business and even acquisitions. Young and highly qualified Indian managers are relocatingto live and work in Europe.

However, not every company is anxious to adequately prepare these secondees and their families on the need to understand, appreciate and respect the cultural and living habits in the unfamiliar, unknown, strange country they are about to reposition.

Should you end up living in Europe, knowing the local customs, manners, dress codes, dealing with neighbours, driving laws, and so forth are critically essential. Here are some broad guidelines.

On Learning The Language

Though in much of Continental Europe, English as a business language is accepted, it is not so welcome in domestic situations. It is essential to get at least 100 words into your vocabulary before you arrive. In Germany for instance, you should at least learn how to say, Guten Tag, Danke and Bitte. Just two syllables and any one can learn that.

Cynical Germans

As an Indian working in Germany, you could feel limpand your enthusiastic bubble bursting when your optimism about a project, plan, scheme is cut down to pieces by German bosses. Germans take pride in always looking at the dark side of life. Thismay indicate depth, critical thinking and a certain "intelligent" caution — things that have always been very precious to the precautions German heart and the logic-amorous German head.

All the gloominess and nay-saying could also be because of German history that hasn't always been a joyful affair. The Indian habit of saying "yes" to everything, including the over-sanguinity in meeting aggressive timelines and targets will not get one very far, in Germany.

Brutally Honest

Don't beat around the bush in Europe. If someone asks a question, answer it honestly and expect the same in return. Unlike India, in most of Europe, including Germany, you say what you mean and mean what you say. The bottom-line is that the rules of human interaction are different. Here are a few of them:

Personal invitations of all kinds are to be taken at face value: Europeans/Germans rarely invite you home and if they do, they mean it sincerely.

Yes means yes and no means no: If you ask whether you can borrow your neighbour's lawn-mower and he says yes, that's the end of it.

Inclinations are expressed honestly: If your old German friend invites you to a Bach concert, don't put him off vaguely. If you don't like Bach, just say so. He will not be offended that you have an opinion that differs from his.

Love Thy Neighbour

Should you end up living in Germany, however, knowing how to deal with the neighbours is vitally important. The following is a brief list of the ordinances and rules you need to know:

The German civil code states that a home-owner should enjoy his property in such a way as not to have any excessive deleterious effects on the neighbours. This rather flexible rule has landed many German neighbours in court in an effort to define exactly what `excessive' is. Is it Indian percussion? Barking dogs? Children? What if your neighbour can't stand the smell of Indian spices? Would that be considered excessive too? The answer is YES.

Ruhezeit: Silent time is from 8 p.m. until 7 a.m. and all Sundays and holidays. A little hushed snoring is allowed, but house and garden appliances and machinery are no-no. No midnight clothes washing or Sunday afternoon lawn mowing. In apartments, you may not use the shower or, flush your toilet after 11 p.m. and before 5 a.m. Some German States have a legally mandated quiet time from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m.

Washing your car: Generally not allowed because of the chemicals in the soap seep into the ground water.

Waste recycling: Germans are very sensitive to securing the environment. Respect their waste re-cycling laws.

Barbeques: If your neighbour lives in close quarters, let them know when you're firing up the grill so they can close the windows; or move your grill to the other side of the garden.

Parties: If you're planning a major bash, perhaps it would be a good idea to tell the neighbours ahead of time.

Sidewalk and street: The homeowner (or renter) is responsible for sweeping the sidewalk and street in front of the house. In winter, the snow has to be cleared. You must shovel and sand/salt your sidewalk between 7 a.m. and 8 p.m. If someone slips and breaks their leg in front of your house during this time, you will be liable. You also need to pull out the weeds off the sidewalk.

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your neighbours. It's the good fortune of the draw — they can be great or grumpy and all you need is one cantankerous incident to make life wretched. Avoid quarrels if you can. Compromise. And most important: Talk to them. If you don't, chances are they won't.

(The author is former Europe Director, CII, and lives in Cologne, Germany. Feedback may be sent to mohan.murti@t-online.de)